The day John McCain came to me

John McCain sought me out at my lair before the final debate. Here is a photograph of me meditating over a volume of political philosophy shortly before our auspicious assembly.



He begged my counsel, proclaiming that he had heard that wise men seek me during their darkest hours. I told him that a truer statement had never been spoken. I said that I had a plan but that it is so inspiring and so ingenious that no one could dare understand such sublime magnificence.

So instead, I told him to hunch over and grit his teeth. I advised him to stare wildly and frighten people with furious blinking. I then said that his tone should be impatient and condescending. I said to not focus on issues but instead make references to unimportant allegiances with shadowy characters.

He thanked me for my guidance and political insight and shambled from my chamber as seen in this photograph.