The Mariner

Funny. I attended a dog wedding once. An ancient, ragged man with an eye patch molested me. He wanted to tell me a story about his journey across the salty sea. I said that I had no time for such nonsense and told the old vagrant about a Jewish monk and collector of arcane tales named Benjamin Smith who indeed “entertains” old hobos and then draws out their preposterous stories as a spider draws the guts from an insect. I then laid my hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said that I had made many new friends now that I had stopped biting people. He wandered off.